Amanda Moves Her Leg

August 7th, 2007 at 06:08am Amanda Boxtel 18

Monday, August 6th

Gratitude

I am ecstatic to report that I am the proud owner of a very strong hamstring in the left leg.  Yes, my lower left leg can now move backwards from the knee down to the foot on its own!  This is a first!!!!!  In fact, I feel my gluteus maximus beginning to kick in, along with other abdominal and leg muscles that haven’t felt alive for fifteen years.  I have a weird sensation that I can deeply tense my calf muscles.  The awareness in my lower limbs is strangely phenomenal—as if a little electrical current has been turned on filtering pins-and-needle tingles all the way to my toes.  This is all apparent after my most recent two embryonic stem cell procedures.  My body is waking up and I am both the audience watching synonymous with the actors playing out the motions.  I applaud with glee at the slightest flicker of movement, and I sweat with exertion to fire-up a body part that has been paralyzed for what seems like an eternity.

Last Saturday Gabrielle and I checked back into Room 201 at Nutech Mediworld.  Within minutes I was draped in a bottle-green gown lying face-up on a gurney.  In the Operating Theater, three masked angels dressed in blue maneuvered my body into the fetal position as Dr. Ashish Verma prepared the stem cell syringes for injection.   As if on cue, the power cut out completely but the trusty generator light kept shining on my back.  This procedure entailed swabbing my back down with a sterile solution and then numbing the area.  Dr. Ashish then inserted an extremely fine needle in between my lumbar vertebrae directly into my spinal c ord, which was similar to an epidural.  He then injected two syringes of stem cells into the cord.  The procedure itself took a matter of minutes and was pain free.  I rolled onto my back and lay still for fifteen minutes.  I was then transported back to my room and asked to lie flat on my back without moving for the next six hours.  The foot of my bed was elevated on two bricks so that my head tilted downhill.  I felt a little dizziness and pressure in my head yet it was tolerable.  At 8:00 p.m. I was allowed to roll onto my side but I wasn’t meant to sit upright for the next twelve hours until 8:00 a.m. the following morning.  Four bo ttles of electrolyte fluids pumped through my veins in the course of the evening and the next morning.  Three separate antibiotic injections staved off possible infection.  I’ve been jabbed that many times in India I’m beginning to feel like a pin-cushion.  With obstinate intravenous needles I sometimes wonder why I voluntarily signed up for such torture.  Then, when I pee on my own I quickly remind myself why.

Gabrielle and I passed the time with visits from Martin, the blind diabetic patient who continues to show improvement in both blood sugar levels decreasing to normal; and he is regaining his sight so that he can make out more defined images.  At one point I tried to play travel Scrabble flat on my back with the board in the air and an IV dripping through the veins in my wrist.   When the IV ceased to trickle because my hand was too high we gave up the game.  As they jabbed the other wrist to begin another IV, Gab even sang to me. 

When I was totally bored and lying on my left side with the right knee tucked behind my left knee, I pointed my finger to my lower left leg and exclaimed with full intention,

“Gabrielle, I just want to move that leg over there!” 

After I made that comment, I moved my leg…just as I had intended. Stunned, I said,

“Did you see that?”

“YES!  OH MY GOD, did I see that?  Amanda, you moved your leg!”

“Yes, I moved my leg!” 

Gabrielle leapt from her bed and was standing before my legs saying, “Do it again!”

I did it again.  I moved my left leg from the knee down backwards from the edge of the bed to the center of the bed four times.  On the fourth time the movement became weaker.  I was isolating my lower limb completely—a movement that had to stem from the ham string.

Gab screamed, “Call Dr. Shroff!  You must tell her.”  

Today I demonstrated my new leg movement to the physio therapists: Chavi, Deepti, and Deepak; and to Dr. Ashish, and Dr. Shroff.  Dr. Ashish was so excited he ordered a spontaneous ‘deep spinal muscle’ procedure in the OT.  It was another fifteen minute procedure involving injections of stem cells directly into the back muscles on either side of my spinal cord.  The injection on the left side was excruciatingly painful as the fluid bled through my left buttocks, thigh and lower limb.  The burning pain was unbearable…but with time, it dissipated.  I felt electrical tingles all the way to my toes on each leg. 

My limbs are responding beautifully, my mind is alert and positive, and I am grateful beyond words.  It’s all worth it!  I ask, “How can we deny a world filled with spinal cord injured patients the right and opportunity to receive this miraculous treatment?  It has been fifteen years that I haven’t been able to move my lower left leg on my own…and now I can.  While the movement is slight and fatigues easily, it is there.  I am living proof that human embryonic stem cells work!

I have immense gratitude in my heart and soul.  I am thankful for the body that is mine.  I ventured into this journey free of expectation or attachment to a specific outcome.  One percent change in my body would have been a small miracle…but I never imagined that I would begin to regain my bodily functions and accomplish all that I can do and feel today.  I embrace my legs, my bladder, my bowels, my abdomen, and my nerves with a golden light of love and gratitude.  My body is a temple and my legs are connected.  I am not a half a woman but a whole woman—I am One.  I have a song in my heart that is peaceful.  I give thanks…so many thanks for this opportunity to be here in India and I feel blessed to be receiving the gift of life. 

 

A Verrrry BIG Elllllleeeeeephont!

The amber flame of my candle is flickering as I watch the same orangey-yellow sun set amidst the silhouette of the neem tree branches.  A purple-blue orchid sits in my window, and four little elephants stand side-by-side on my desk—two with their trunks up for luck and prosperity, and two with their trunks down symbolizing peace and as Gabrielle claims, “groundedness”.  I asked where she heard that bit of trivia and she confidently replied, “I made it up.”

In India and Asia the elephant is a powerful totem animal symbolizing royalty, fertility, wisdom, and success—here’s praying for all of the above!  Indra, the God of Rain, used the gray elephant to bring forth the monsoons.  I think Indra was working overtime this past week given the torrents that flooded the northern Uttar Pradesh and Bihar.  I’ve never seen rain pelt down so hard for so long.  All through the afternoon and night it showered last Thursday—buckets and buckets.  Small floods caused road blockages in downtown Delhi, and the stench lifted.  Delhi had a much needed bath. 

Perhaps the rain’s downpour was partly due to Gabrielle’s and my incessant quandary over purchasing a certain elephant—our dilemma was not only the price, but the animal’s size.  Yes, this elephant is large—bulky enough to warrant its own suitcase.  We dreamed elephants all week.  Gabrielle tossed and turned and finally I said, “If you love it, buy it”…and like a true friend I added, “And if you die, I get it…Deal?”

So, on Friday Gabrielle purchased Ellie.  Weary and with nowhere to go due to the downpour outside, we stuck to our guns and bartered the shop owner down by half the price.  The deal was through…but how the hell was Gab going to get Ellie home?  As the Universe would have it, two doors down sat a luggage shop filled to the ceiling with suitcases and duffels of every size, color and shape.

“Namaste, kripaya (please) can I come in?”

Three men jumped to their feet and proceeded to remove about twelve bags piled high from the doorway so my wheelchair could barely squeeze in.  Upon entering my left castor wheel snagged another half-dozen that toppled behind me.  Gab followed with the elephant cradled in her arms. 

“Verrrry BIG elllllleeeeeephont Maam!”  Exclaimed the shopkeeper as he produced the first suitcase, reached over me and threw it on my lap.  This guy’s armpits reeked to high heaven that I almost passed out.  I’ve never in my life smelled such bad BO.   

As Gab tested the suitcase size according to Ellie, she said, “No, it’s not big enough.  Bigger please.”

In a flash and a whiff of an armpit, the man twisted and dumped a larger case on my lap. 

“This one’s got some sort of sticky stuff on the cover.  Do you have another case?” smiled Gab.

He leaned over my head, pits fully exposed, and produced another case but it was black.  By this time I’m gagging. 

Gab sweetly asked, “Oh, I prefer the blue.  Do you have a blue case?” 

Unbeknown to Gab, the man’s odor was putting me over the edge as he kept repeating, “Maam, veerrrrrrry BIG elllllleeeeeephont….verrrry BIG elllllleeeeeeephont.”  My coping mechanism brought on the giggles.  In the pure ridiculousness of the moment I couldn’t handle this man hanging over me any longer.

“Gab, take the blue…please, I beg you, take the blue suitcase.  It’s a damn big elllllleeeeeephont.  Chalo—let’s go!”

How many Indians does it take to wrap an ellllleeeeeephont?  Exactly three. 

Ellie is now on her way back to the USA as checked luggage in a blue suitcase minus the sticky stuff.  She’ll land on American soil at 6:25 p.m. Monday night Colorado time, hopefully in one piece.  Don’t get me wrong, this gal is gorgeous.  She is pure rose wood with camel bone inlay that is so intricately placed she glows with grace, peace (trunk is down), groundedness, prosperity, and wisdom.  Oh, it is also said that the elephant has a most auspicious symbolism embodying strength and power of the libido.  So Gab my friend, may Ellie bring you luck and joy in sex for the rest of your days. 

Gabrielle left at dawn this morning and it was a tearful goodbye.  No lady in India dares to expose her shoulders, cleavage, nor legs, yet there I was in my pajama top with bare legs and hair like a bird’s nest as I waved farewell.  With a quick glance up, I caught three Indians peering down at me from the balcony above.  I didn’t give a hoot and they kept looking.  Indian men aren’t afraid to stare.

Gabrielle has a halo that shines over me and brings my true self alive.  She lets me be me.  Her light radiates wherever she goes and she is loved by all.  Thank you Gab for giving selflessly to me these past twelve days.  You travelled half way around the world to help, encourage, love and support me.  Together we witnessed my body coming alive after fifteen long years of paralysis.  You saw me do Number 1 and Number 2…and you were the first to witness my lower leg move on its own—all in a week and a half.  Wow!  Thank you for your unconditi onal love and friendship.  You mean the world, the sun, the moon and the stars to me.  Thank you my Didi.  I am missing you already.

Gratitude to All for your emails.  I get excited when I turn on my computer morning and night to check my inbox (that’s if the internet is working…It’s been frustratingly sporadic lately so forgive me if I don’t always reply).  Gabrielle and I agreed that if there was one word to describe Delhi, it would be paradoxical. 

With love and Namaste, Amanda xoxoxo

I am alone this week until Dale arrives next Monday—Yippeeeeeee!!!!  I can hardly wait…seven more sleeps!

 

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